sexy valentine


It's important to find a woman who can cook and look after kids well.
It's important to find a woman who shares the same life goals as you.
It's important to find a woman whom you can take to social functions with you.
It's important to find a woman who is good in bed and loves having sex with you.
It's very important that these 4 women never meet.

Girl: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.”
Boy: “Really?”
Girl: “Yeah, you make me sick!”


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman hoping she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


"Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so has your ass."

sexy valentine

"Why do men like love at first sight?

It saves them a lot of time."

Boring husband:
Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Bored wife:
Because I married the wrong man!

"Why did the banana go out with the prune?

Because it couldn't get a date."

A successful marriage is based on give and take. The husband gives money and gifts. The wife takes it. The wife gives advices and lectures, and the husband takes it..!!


sexy funny valentine

"What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a Valenshine! "

funny valentine

"What do you call a very small valentine?

A valentiny!"

"Why do girls live longer than boys?

Scientific studies have proved that shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bills does."

"Our love will never become cold and hollow, unless one day, you refuse to swallow."

"You are a woman of style, you are a woman of class, especially when I'm spanking your big-round-fat ass."